Sunday, September 30, 2007

Though your writing makes me want to hate you, I admit that you are right.

The author is obviously trying to communicate that he thinks Garfield is not at all funny and that you should believe the same. Let’s take a look at how he communicates this.
Throughout the article, Maddox clings to the hope that by using crude humor, vulgar language, and the self-control of a five-year-old, his readers will overlook his lack of writing skill and agree with his ridiculously proposed ideas. Though I personally agree with his main point that Garfield is, in fact, retarded, I found myself longing to disagree with him due sheerly to the fact that Maddox writes like some angry bum throwing a temper tantrum after he just got put in timeout.
Secondly, Maddox wonders from topic to topic as if he took three different random articles and copied and pasted their middles together onto a blank Microsoft Word document. He goes from raving about how Garfield gets more awards than Family Guy to talking about how much he hates babies. He then proceeds to expound on this subject for three more sentences as if he thought the reader, whom originally decided to read an article on Garfield, actually cared about his opinions on abortion. Maddox’s writing commands the respect of not even the lowliest reading creature on the earth, and I hope never again to have to endure the tortures of dissecting another one of his works. (if it can even be called that) Nevertheless, at the end of this article, I did find myself saying , “You’re right, Garfield does, in fact, suck, and it evidently must not take a bright individual to come to that conclusion.”

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