"Phrases that make my blood boil."

For years, the internet has had a schoolgirl crush of Maddox. I mean, what's not to love? He's funny, he's smart, he's handsome, and he has a way with words that will make even the most miserly old man crack a smile.

No, wait. Those are the things he's not. He's arbitrarily aggressive, he thinks he's right about everything, and he's more profane than a talking, racist shark on amphetamines. And now, thanks to the wonderful trash heap known as the internet, he's got a following, and a god complex. There's a reason we're spiraling into debauchery, and I'm willing to bet that Maddox accounts for more than thirty-five percent of it.

The article I choose was about several phrases that, for whatever reason, makes Maddox angry. First of all, he thinks this is completely original. It's not. For years, comedians have been analyzing old adages and making fun of them. It's not funny when they do it. It's especially not funny when you do the same thing, but make every other word a curse, a la Maddox. Second, the fact that these innocuous phrases anger him so much puts strong doubt into me of his sanity. While some of these phrases can be slightly annoying, they are nothing more than words, and words that aren't even meant to inflame. There is absolutely no reason to be so offensive about phrases such as "I'm a child at heart," which he classifies anyone that says that as "a boring middle-aged loser with sagging tits and yellow nails who survives off greasy TV dinners every night as you contemplate the exact moment your life became such a miserable shit hole."

One of the major things that Maddox did wrong about this article (and lets face it, all articles) was that he assumed that I care about his opinion. I don't. He's a terrible, filthy-mouthed hooligan, and I'd really just prefer forming my own opinion, instead of having one forced on me. The only think I can think of that Maddox does right is aesthetic. He has decent grammar, and keeps spelling mistakes to a minimum. His page is black with gray lettering, which is much easier on the eyes than the standard black text on a white background. But that's it, folks.

And I know what you're going to say. "Aren't lowering to his level by sharing your bad opinion of him?" First of all, I don't think I could ever sink down so far as to be at his level. Secondly, someone asked for my opinion, which is more than I can say for Monsignor Maddox.