Sunday, September 30, 2007

Suicide isn't so bad, give it a chance.

"Hope you found this guide helpful, mention it in your suicide note. On second thought, why bother? Nobody will read it." This is how Maddox ends his suicide decision making guide in the article "Suicide isn't so bad, give it a chance." This is one of my absolute favorite Maddox articles along with "How to kill yourself like a man" and "I am better than your kids." In the article, Maddox takes the viewpoints of a depressed person and trivializing them, showing how he believes anyone who contemplates suicide is an idiot and probably deserves to die.

I myself will never understand how anyone could ever commit suicide, no matter how depressed they may be. There is so much to live for, and suicide is one of the most irresponsible and wasteful things a person could possibly do. This is why "Suicide isn't so bad, give it a chance" appeals to me so much. What it really does it shows a suicidal person just how ridiculous their thought processes are. Maddox begins with the typical thoughts of a depressed person as one of his first bullet points is:

"If you just got out of a bad relationship and you feel like things are never going to get better; you're right. Everyone knows that suicide is the only option, stop procrastinating. Look on the bright side, at least your ex will feel guilty for a couple of minutes--but don't count on it."

His guide then grows more and more ridiculous, further trivializing the views of a suicidal individual. He continues with hitting depression, friendlessness and failure, but then goes on to such items as receiving too many calls from telemarketers and getting a flat tire. In No. 8 Maddox gives advice such as:

"Flu? You realize that there's no cure for the flu, right? Well, no cure that doesn't involve painting the wall with your brains."

Obviously, Maddox has no sympathy for the suicidal, which I really do not have much of either. Maddox presents his argument in a witty and clever way. He presents his argument in stark contrast to what would be considered the social norm. Furthermore, this article is just hilarious. I for one, contemplate suicide every time I get stuck in a traffic jam. Just sitting there twenty minutes, I really just don't know if that's tolerable.

I'm really disappointed Maddox doesn't update his site more often, his unadulterated, uncompromising opinions and remarks are in high demand in our sterilized and censored commercial mainstream, (which by the way sucks.)

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