The Masculine: Chicago vs. Virginia vs. Me

Growing up in Chicago, the masculine was almost entirely created by who was the hardest. Even as little boys we all fought and got in trouble as a way to prove how hard we were. My grandmother and mother tried to convince some of my male cousins and I that violence was not the answer, but society painted a clear picture daily that completely rebutted their teachings. The “tough guy” was also the “cool guy”. He had to dress and talk with the most up to date fashion that impressed all the girls and he was supposed to make everything look easy. On the south side of Chicago, to be dubbed “the masculine” he would have to constantly prove his manliness or either just fit in with those that do. Athleticism was also a huge masculinity factor, primarily football and basketball because they were the most popular. Guys that played baseball or soccer were harassed unless they were the stars of the team because baseball players wear tight pants and soccer players wear short shorts. Guys were supposed to wear baggy clothes and sometimes it was the bigger the better.

This somewhat changed when I moved to Springfield, Virginia. The masculine was created there still by athleticism, but the clothing norm changed. I realized that wearing baggy clothes was mostly a cultural phenomenon when I saw a lot of guys wearing tighter clothes. In Northern Virginia it was all about embracing your muscles and highlighting your strong attributes as a man. Society said men were supposed to be muscular, but leanness or chubbiness was much more tolerated than in Chicago. Virginian society promoted education much more and good academics were the equivalent of manliness. For some reason, having good grades and being an athlete was more admirable than being an athlete and being cool. Manners were also more prevalent in Virginia, but the occasional burp or fart was surprisingly appropriate.

I think the masculine is created by how a man feels about himself. Although I choose not to wear really tight clothes, I also choose to maintain my manners and etiquette. If you, as a man, are comfortable in your skin and with your sexuality then the masculine is whatever you are. I believe in individualism because there are way too many men in this world for there to exist only a few stereotypes that sum up what it means to be masculine. If we all decide what the masculine means to each of us individually, then maybe we can change these ridiculous stereotypes that society has set because truthfully there is a mixture of masculinity and femininity in all of us.