The "Lovely" Prescription for Any Type of Relationship

When I first heard of Gary Chapman’s book, The Five Love Languages for Singles, I was not particularly interested in reading it because, honestly, it sounded boring. I knew that it would be good for me to read, and that it most likely would prove useful in my future, however, it has far exceeded my expectations. Surprisingly, I found myself extremely interested and absorbed by the topics discussed, and I have found that this topic is of interest to any audience. Though I currently am not dating anyone, this book has still proven useful in my life, as it deals with all types of relationships and friendships: dating relationships, parent to child relationships, peer-to-peer friendships, and relationships with co-workers, teammates, and siblings.
Chapman begins by explaining that when a friendship or dating relationship is unsatisfactory, one typically looks at the other person and begins thinking of how they can get them to change. However, he reprimands this method, saying that, instead, we should look to change ourselves and how we communicate and interact in the relationship. Chapman speaks of five ways of effectively communicating love in any relationship. He calls them the “five love languages.” These love languages include the following: quality time, words of affirmation, acts of service, gifts, and physical touch. It is expressed how important it is in any relationship that both persons feel appreciated and liked. He believes that every individual feels loved by all five of these love languages, but that each individual person has one primary love language that most effectively communicates love to them. Chapman claims that seventy-five percent of all individuals most effectively speak to others the same love language that most effectively communicates love to them.
In the book, Chapman speaks of a “love tank” that must not run empty. He explains how in a dating relationship there is a state of “in love euphoria” that typically lasts a year or two and then slowly wears off, leaving the couple frustrated and confused. It is his belief that if the two persons learn each other’s primary love languages and learn to effectively communicate them, the relationship will not be left flat, but instead it will grow deeper and stronger. Throughout the book, Chapman effectively helps the reader to identify his or her primary love language and how to identify other’s primary love language. He gives countless, real-life examples of how communicating a person’s love language has healed, restored, or deepened all types of relationships. I now look forward to putting these principles into practice.