Awkward Pumpkins, or Why I Love My Roommate

I don’t understand my roommate, but I love her. I love her in about the same way as I enjoy watching the Discovery Channel; I don’t necessarily want to directly associate with the animals, but I’m intrigued by their fascinating quirks and lifestyles. Don’t misunderstand me – she’s an incredibly sweet, fun person, but she and I are simply on different planes of existence.

Take, for example, what occurred last weekend. After returning from having spent the night in a friend’s room, I returned to be greeted by various fake cobwebs and spooky stickers. Festive, to be sure. These decorations weren’t my favorite part, though. The pièce de résistance was a squat, orange pumpkin passing the time on her bedside table. I have never seen such an adorable squash. Black sharpie spelled out the names of my roommate and her boyfriend on the front, while the back, in perfect, adorable, little letters, said “First Halloween 2007.” But it gets better. It gets so much better.

“Hey… Stephanie?” she mumbled. I love that she does this, as if I’m going to scream when she speaks to me. I try explaining to her that I basically never get angry at anyone, for anything, but she’s perpetually apprehensive anyway.

“Yeah?”“Did you see the decorations? I hope they’re okay. I got bored; I thought they were fun,” she said, her voice getting steadily more confident. Make fun of them, I dare you, her eyes challenged.

“They’re so fun! I love them,” I responded, because truly, I do.

“Okay. Good. So. Are you and Will dating?”

I paused and thought over my response, mostly because I had no idea if we were dating or not – I still don’t, not really. “Not exactly,” I replied. “We’re just sort of hanging out, I guess.”

“Okay. Because I was going to get a pumpkin,” she blurts as she points to the delightful little gourd, “but I didn’t know if you two were, you know, an item. I didn’t want there to be, like, an awkward pumpkin in the room or anything. So, if you want to go get a pumpkin, or if you want me to go get a pumpkin, I can do that. You guys can have a pumpkin.”

At this invitation into her pumpkin world, my head tilted to the side and I suppressed a giggle, not wanting her to think I was making fun. I simply smiled and told her she didn’t have to bother. But you know what? I think I will get that pumpkin.